Never compare yourself to anyone else, you’ll either end up vain or bitter. ~ Unknown
Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide. ~ Donald Winnicott
Since minimalism is what you make it, there is no right or wrong way to get there. The route you choose will probably be influenced by your personality and level of fed-up-ness.
rowing up, I’ve always been a victim of bullying. Now I don’t want to go into any of the gory details, just know this… it’s because of my experiences of being bullied that I am the person I am today, so it really is a blessing in disguise – even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time.
However, for the past week or so, I have been surrounded by a dark energy and I seemed to be attracting other negative sources of energies in the form of verbally angry people. I don’t know where it came from or where it originated from, but it escalated to a point where I was overcome with anxiety – an anxiety that was triggered by experiences from my past.
I had to remind myself that these people who wrongfully “attacked” me were probably just having a bad day, and because I was surrounded by a dark energy, naturally they gravitated towards me and took their frustration out on me.
Yes, it wasn’t fair, but it is what it is. It had to happen, because I need to be reminded of the fact that it’s not too late to take control and to embrace the pain that breaks me down, because that’s the only way I get to put the pieces back together.
So how does this fit in with my journey to minimalism? Simple – it’s about embracing, accepting, overcoming and then letting go of the negative energies in my life.
‘ve always had this idea growing up that straight hair is beautiful and curly hair is ugly. I remember begging my Mom as a young child to please “blow my hair in piece” … which actually means, blow dry my hair in separate pieces so that it’s all straight.
I remember feeling frustrated that I had this big bush of hair and that I had to put a lot of effort into making it look pretty or… in my mind – normal. And that’s kinda sad.
If only I knew back then that I should have embraced my natural curls, I wouldn’t be sitting with the regret of all the heat damage my then thick, long and beautiful hair endured. Now it’s all thinned out (well, it finally grew long after I started eating animal protein again), but it’s still pretty thin and lost all it’s volume.
Thankfully, I still have my curls. And every now and then I rock my natural curly look. Only thing is, even though I get so many compliments about my curly hair, I still feel pretty ugly.
I wish I could get to a point where my natural curly hair is back to what it used to be when I was little. And I understand it’s going to take some time… the sacrifice being – having to put up with potentially looking “shit” on certain days… or “lazy”.
Somehow I got the idea that curly hair means you’re too lazy to do your hair, to blow dry it so that you look beautiful, or normal. These are the ideas that have stuck with me over the years, and frankly… it’s time for a change.
From now on, I promise to do my best to embrace my perfectly imperfect natural hair. Knowing that by doing so, I’m learning to step out of my comfort zone of being normal, and boring, to being who I truly am, no bells and whistles. The person that is uniquely me.
Don’t get me wrong, I will still be blow drying my hair every now and then – but I will make the effort to rock my natural curls as often as I possibly can, that way my hair can recover from the heat damage it endured during the last blow dry.
How does this fit in with my journey to minimalism, you may wonder? Well I tell you this – my journey to minimalism means finding ways to do things that are effortless. And what is more effortless than my natural curls? Not only am I’m saving on electricity, I’m protecting my tresses from heat damage that could just make things worse over the years.
At least this way I am kind of resetting – giving my hair a chance to breath… to grow.
“Someone who can’t sacrifice anything can’t change anything.” ~ Armin, Attack on Titan
I am a metal head (surprise surprise) and Lacuna Coil is one of my favourite bands. They have recently launched their album Delirium and I am obsessed with it – I’ve been listening to it on repeat. All day. Every day.
I relate to so many of the lyrics, and Ghost In The Mist is one of them, so I thought I’d share it today. Here’s the chorus:
I’m a ghost in the mist (it’s my life)
My life slips away
I wander unseen (compromise)
I don’t make any sound
I’m lost in the mist (going blind)
No one showed me the way
Locked in by my fears (paralyzed)
With my knees on the ground
While it may not appear to be the case on the surface, I am a dark soul at heart and I find solace in melancholic and gloomy vibes. In some way, it’s my transdimensional happy place.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a good life and I am content! I just find this so relatable because it reminds me of a time where I found myself in a dark place as portrayed in the lyrics, and it makes me feel grateful for how blessed I am and how amazing my life turned out in spite of the darkness I endured in my past.
How can you know that light exists if you haven’t seen the dark? How can you truly appreciate happiness when you haven’t felt sadness? How will you know if you have been found when you have never been lost?
My journey to minimalism is learning to embrace and accept the good with the bad. After all , it’s part of life and learning to evolve as a human being.
Here’s the song:
or a good year or so in my life, I experienced the fashion blogger life – got invited to attend fashion-related events – often as a VIP guest, rubbing shoulders with celebs and influencers – receive free clothes, accessories and makeup, did interviews on blogs, been featured on various fashion social media profiles and sites. I even got featured in the newspaper, magazines and spotted on TV!
I did all this whilst balancing a full-time day job. Needless to say, my life was crazy – packed with all sorts of things that always seemed to be happening, and while I honestly enjoyed the experience of it all, I knew in my heart it was only temporary. I remember thinking “This is not really what I want”.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the experiences and opportunities because I met amazing friends along the way, some of whom I’ve become very close with today. It has forced me to get out of my comfort zone – to socialize and interact with people – which is a big thing for an introvert.
However, the longer I have found myself living this kind of lifestyle I actually don’t care for, the more I got to truly know and witness the dynamics of the blogging world, and it became easier and easier to spot the ones who are not sincere, have some kind of hidden agenda or only interested in you because of what you have to offer them.
In all honesty, it made me feel sick, which is why I withdrew.
Whether this is an upper limit problem, I don’t know. All I know is that right now, this is how I feel. For me, it isn’t really about getting to live the “glam life” and free stuff (I actually don’t care for free stuff, hello, minimalism). For me, it was about putting myself out there and networking with inspiring folk in the fashion business – and learning from them.
I can’t help but feel like I want to be back where I started – where nobody knew who I was and I could just get lost in my creative craft. There were no expectations and I loved knowing that “it’s all uphill from here”.
Maybe I have reached my upper limit, who knows? Maybe I need to push myself a little more, but you know what, I don’t want that right now. I need to take this timeout and re-evaluate what it is that I want from this journey. I need to take the time to figure out how what I’m doing now is contributing to my core desires.
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. ~ Havelock Ellis
here are days where everything goes smoothly and according to plan, and then there are days where everything just seems to go wrong. On those days where things seem to go wrong and I’m feeling all stressed out are usually the days where I have allowed myself to get sucked into a negative spiral.
Today is one of those days, but I refuse to let everyone else’s negative energy and anxiety get the better of me. I will remain centered and deal with obstacles that arise in a calm and rational manner. I will not let my emotions control what can be logically dealt with.
It doesn’t mean I don’t care – in fact it is quite the opposite – it means that I care about myself enough to not let the tensions that arise take over my existence for that period of time and I refuse to let it consume me in any way.
I mentally and consciously cut myself off from it. And this is something I have learned to do over the years because of practicing meditation. I have become more aware of the physical sensations I feel in my body and then consciously letting it go – remembering that it is not who I am, and that I am the master of my own thoughts and emotions.
I create my own experience of life, and that is just… magical.